monocle

(no subject)

life in my house:

-our water has been shut off. you never realize how important water is until you don't have it.
-one of my roommates has scabies.
-two of my roommates (dating/married couple) are moving out. unfortunately, they probably won't be paying for the damage they have left behind. they aren't getting their deposit back, but i'm not sure if that will cover the damage. the entire living room carpet has to be replaced because their dog ripped it up (we caught her in action), and their bedroom carpet has to be replaced because the guy is an idiot and burned the carpet with his iron. so yeah, either we replace the carpet or we lose everyones deposits. the good news is that we won't have to deal with their dog destroying any more of our stuff (probably about $200 worth) and we don't have to deal with the idiot/lazy ass guy and the messes he leaves everywhere. the bad news is we need another roommate, asap.

soooo... anyone in the south bay (los angeles) area need a room? or know anyone who does? rent is pretty cheap. we need someone who is relatively clean (you can be a slob in your own room, but you have to pick up after yourself and do chores around the house... thats basically how i roll), respectful, ideally over 21 (because the couple that left was younger and not very mature/responsible at all), and probably most importantly, should love dogs because we have quite a few (as many as 7 on any given day, but usually 2-4). ideally, the person(s) should not own a dog because we have enough, but if there is one, it should not be destructive or mean (to people or other dogs). if you know anyone that fits this description, let me know!
monocle

(no subject)

I had the weirdest thing happen to me the other day. I went pee, wiped, and when I got up I saw that there was a dime perched on top of the tissue I had just wiped with. I know what you're thinking... The dime just fell out of my pocket or something... but no. My pants had no pockets! I don't know where that dime came from, but I reached into the pee filled toilet water and rescued it, because surely it is magical. Or maybe my vagina is?

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monocle

(no subject)

good reason not to wear pants that are way too big for you: you slowly start to grow into them.

oh well, i guess it's time to start using that gym membership!
monocle

(no subject)

I haven't been around a computer in a while, so i have a lovely little update for y'all. On Tuesday, I got bit by a dog at work again. This time on my FACE. I have a lovely flap of skin that is hanging off of my nose (it's trying to heal, but not doing a superb job... it was bleeding again today) and two little scratches on my forehead that are pretty much gone now. No need to dress up, Halloween came early for me this year!

The good news is that it barely hurt at all... I was just like "Holy shit, did I just get bit in the face? Is my nose still attached?" i still don't know why the dog bit me... i was just petting her under her chin. She gave me no warning growl or anything, just SNAP!

Unfortunately at the time of the bite, we were having "interviews"... which basically means that new clients come and look down on us playing with the dogs... so they saw it happen! Apparently, they were like "Oh no! That girl just got hurt! Is she going to be ok?" as blood was gushing out of my face. Pretty awesome. It was kind of a clerks moment, because i wasn't even supposed to be there that day. At least i got to go home early with pay.

in other news, i made a twitter where i post cute/funny pictures of dogs at work. so if you have a twitter, add me: dachshundparty. i dont know how much interest there is in random dog pictures, but i could also connect to loudtwitter or something and have it posted here, if enough people want it.
happydog

fuck you snoop dog

i got bit by a dog at work today. a beagle (named snoop dog) was trying to get at this dog bone that i had in my hand (which belonged to another dog) and he missed and grabbed my middle finger instead... asshole. i had two chunks of skin flapping around and blood started gushing out, so i went to clean it out with hydrogen peroxide. as i started to put on the band-aid, i got super light headed so i needed to sit down. then i was like, shit... it's barfy time! so i ran to the toilet and expressed my self. it was kind of weird and i don't know why that happened. i'm thinking my adrenaline rush dropped too fast or something and fucked me up, because the sight of blood doesn't freak me out or anything.

whatev!
monocle

(no subject)

i had a customer today named harry johnson. no joke. it took everything in me not to laugh my ass off when he announced rather loudly that that was his name. added bonus: he was telling another customer that he should get his dog neutered, and then he was like "all of my animals are fixed. hell, even my wife and i are fixed!"

i thought it was funny.